My son's story is complicated and started five years ago. It's been a long and tiresome one. Let me first tell you that I do not have full custody of my son, he lives with his father, so the battle for me was that much harder. This aspect of my life, I hope, will help you understand his story.
Five years ago T-bone was diagnosed with ADHD, the day that i found out it turned my world upside down. I picked him up for our mid-week visitation on a wednsday, when he got into my car and we drove away for the afternoon, he kept talking, fidgeting, licking his lips, couldn't stay on one subject of conversation. So i kept watching him and then finally asked him what was going on. He proceded to tell me that he was on this medication that is supposed to help him. Now you have to picture this- my son was showing signs of being HIGH!! If you have never lead a wild past then God bless you for never walking that path. As me, my teenage years and into my early twenties before i had children, there was probably not anything that i came across that i would refuse. So for me to see my 6yr old HIGH i flipped!! The trouble with this situation was because me and his father did not have any good communication at the time. There was really nothing i could do, by law his father had the medical say so, and by law i didnt have the right to not give him this "medication" when he was with me, as well as that it would put his brain on a rollercoaster.
I tried to speak to his father and stepmother about this situation, it only turned into a big fight.
As time went on i could tell it was a doomed situation, i had no rights, no say so, and no one wanted to listen to my concerns or opinions about what might be making our child act this way. So for a while i let it be, trying not to cause conflict. His father and stepmother tried to assure me that they had tried everything they knew to try before putting him on this medication, Concerta. I had to pray, hope, and believe that they had. While on this medication, T-bone would have nightmares, almost no appetite, no signs of remorse for any wrong action, not much sign of any emotion.
As time went on, i decided to research this monster, ADHD, and find out why, why my son, there is no way my son has any aligment. He was born perfect and i knew this, God had given me this child and i knew He would care for him. As my research continued, i didnt focus on researching the medications, i focused on researching diet, foods, shampoos, deodrants, laundry soap, anything and everything that my child would come in contact with. During this time T-bone's behavior was not really much better but his grades were better, so the doctor decided that his Concerta was just not doing the trick anymore. He was then put on Adderall XR. This is when things got really bad. He ended up hurting a kid on the playground at school, he was caught on video kicking him while he was on the ground. He wouldn't even take responsiblity for it. Not long after this incedent, T-bone shoved a peanut butter sandwich in a girls face, doesn't sound too bad huh?, well the aweful part is that he knew this girl was highly allergic to peanuts. At this point his father and stepmother addmitted him to a behavioral hospital. Not only was i flabbergasted, but the principal and counselor at his school was too. Not to say that what he did could have had a really terrible ending for this young girl, but a behavioral hospital???!! The hospital immediately took him off the adderall xr, hhhmmm wonder why, but it didnt end there. They put him on more "medications". He was there only a week, but the week he spent away from his families was detrimental to him. Not to mention the hospital had him so sedated that he was an emotional mess, out of it, and just begging to come home. The hospital had him on Resperdone. This was supposed to "calm him" so that he wouldn't be so aggressive. When T-bone got out of the hospital, he was to go see his pediatrician, well he had retired. So his father and stepmother found a psycologist/counseling center. He attended this place as outpaitent for about a year. With not alot of improvements in his behavior or aggression. He was constantly in trouble at school and both homes. His outbursts and attitude were unimaginable. He would purposely hurt his brothers and when asked why, his answer would be "i dont know" or "i wanted to see what would happen" . His definace was in everything, you couldn't even ask him to come eat dinner without a blow up. After the year at the first counseling place, his father and stepmother found a different one. When he began at this center he was doing the same, i think they switched places because they found that the last psycologist really just wasn't paying attention to them, T-bone, or any of their concerns. (remember through almost this whole battle we were not on good speaking terms, so there is alot i dont know, i only know what i saw with our son). T-bone went through counseling and still was getting in trouble. Some weeks would be ok and some weeks your really didnt even want to talk about what happened. While attending this center they changed his medication again, to Focalin and also Celexa. Not a good choice, he was only on it for less than two weeks and in that time he was with me for most of it. He complained the whole time of stomach aches to the point he would lay in his bed for hours in the fetal position because of the pain and he would wake up with nightmares. I took him for a check up appointment and told them and they quickly switched him to Vyvanse. At least with this one his didn't complain about his stomach. Mind you through all of these medication changes there was never a period of time that any of these doctors, psychologists, counselors, anyone ever suggested a "detoxifing time". A period of time in between switching medicines that is needed to completely drain the system of one medication so there is no counter-action of two in the body.
Well at this point through our adult battles, we found ourselves in family counseling. All four of us "adults" had to get it together. We only ended up with about three months of this counseling, but i swear it was one of the miracles we all needed, especially our son. With us now communicating on a better level we were able to make some head way on this whole situation. Me and T-bone's stepmother really began communicating really well. So between me and her, we were able to decide a few things. We talked about retesting him, diet changes, keeping our two households on the same page with his behavior so that he could not manipulate any of us, among lots of other issues. During our progress, T-bone's original pediatrician came out of retirement and started another practice. So stepmom asked me if we thought it was a good idea to go back to him, we agreed. :) When T-bone returned to the original doctor he decided to alter alittle of his medications, because there were still issues with his behavior. He changed his Celexa to Abilify. The reason for this was "Celexa is acting as more stimulants, just as the Vyvanse, so T-bone is getting too many stimulants. With the abilify, it will act as a blocker. It will allow the Vyvanse to release the stimulants without it going overboard." Ok, i can handle that. I was worried about the abilify because what i could find out about it i didnt like. We made the switch to abilify. So now he was on Vyvanse and Abilify. This continued for a while, as did our good communication. T-bone seemed to improve on a daily basis, we both made diet changes in our home. I think i made more than they did, but it was because i dove into it. I took out all gmo's, additives, chemicals, dyes, preservatives, and lots of other things. We decided to get him tested again, this time from somewhere he had never been, the appointment was months in the waiting. This last October we finally had those appointments. I took T-bone to his two different appointments and the last appointment was for the decision. I was so happy when i walked out of there, he told me that there were no signs what so ever of the stupid monster that had ruled our lives for so long. He did say he thought there were signs of ODD. But you know what, evey child i know has a little ODD in them, and the doctor told me that if we, us four parents, would do more counseling or just make sure we stay on the same page, it would get better. Imagine that a doctor that suggested no medicine for a diagnosis!!!
It took a month to get the diagnostic letter from the doctor in the mail. When we finally recieved it his stepmom took a copy to his pediatrician. We were in hopes he would be off his meds by christmas. I think his father was excited too, he had kinda taken him off of the Vyvanse himself :). T-bone came up the weekend before his appointment with his pediatrician, I went to give his medicine and he was like "na, i don't want too. Daddy hasn't made me take it since thursday" i was so happy, i was like ok. Shoot, i wasn't gonna shove it down his throat. lol. We went to the doctor on december 11th, i remember this day well. While sitting in the waiting room forever, me and his dad chatted. He mentioned he had watched the "medicated child" i was impressed. We get in the room , finally, and the doctor tries to put T-bone back on the medicine he hadnt had in five days. Ok, so you understand, when you take stimulants, they wear off, once they wear off they are basically out of your system. So since T-bone had been off of them for five days i couldnt understand why he would want to put him back on them to then ween him off. I got the doctor to agree with me that it was unessacery. (YAY!)
At this point T-bone was still on the abilify, we didnt want to jump his body off of everything all at once. But recently, his father and stepmother told me that they were done with the abilify!!! Praise God my son is drug free!!
During all of this and watching my son and his behavior i kept asking, where is my son. I thought i had lost him, i thought that this monster had taken him away. My sweet little baby boy had turned and became his monster. It was heartbreaking, to see your little baby eaten up. I have come to the understanding that it was not a monster that made him act this way, it was his parents and his environment that made him act out, and then it was these "medications" that turned him evil. If these medications had never been given to him and his parents would of straightened up he would have been fine. I know me and my son's story is slightly confusing, but there is no way to put five years of battle on here. I would have to write a book!! lol
The side effects that these medications have are life changing, life threatening, and unnessacery. Please through our stories and information on this blog do your research, not all doctors are out for the almighty dollar, and some actually care about their paitients, but it is our job to know our children, to protect them and to make every effort possible to make sure they are able to make it to adulthood without labels. If you have any questions about anything, we will be glad to help and answer them. Some children truly do need the guidance of medicine, but we have to be careful on where to draw the line.
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